1. Attempts to change each other
Perfect people do not exist. But do not confuse habits and traits. There are things that a person can not change in himself, no matter how much you reproach him. Therefore, do not confuse scattered around the house socks (habit) and lost for the fifth time in a season umbrella (absent-mindedness – a character trait).
2. Getting to know your parents
It’s good if you are familiar with the parents of your second half (and she is with yours). Even better, when they are friends. Alas, this is not always the case. The son-in-law may not like the potential mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law does not impress the future mother-in-law, but this should not influence the relations within the couple. Do not be disrespectful to your choice and do not drag your loved one / loved ones to family dinners. Nothing but a spoiled mood, they do not promise.
3. Mobile phone
It’s amazing how quickly gadgets have turned from helpers into razluchnikov. Instead of enjoying communication with loved ones, we chat on the phone, write SMS, we sit in social networks. Of course, sometimes there are really important things, but, in the end, there is nothing more important than a loved one.
4. Public reproaches
Never, hear, never find out the relationship in public places. You will confuse not only your partner, but others. No matter how blood was boiling, no matter how much you wanted to dot the “i” here and now, do it only face to face.
Disagreements are inevitable. Sooner or later, any pair finds stumbling blocks. Moreover, this is normal. Quarrels are part of a happy relationship. But under one condition: do not cross the line. Do not insult each other, do not put your resentment above the partner and remember that there is no conflict that can not be resolved by compromise.
No one can read your mind. Even a loved one. There is a problem? Tell me about it. Something I do not like? Speak. Expressing emotions, both positive and negative, is a pledge of psychological health.
Everyone is mistaken. And you too. Know how to forgive your loved ones. Do not hold resentment in yourself and do not save them. This will not only save your relationship, but also help to avoid undesirable stress. Psychologists have long noticed that grievances have a negative impact on human health.
8. Not the time, the wrong place
Discuss important issues in a suitable environment and at the right time. Do not start a conversation, for example, about moving after a hard day’s work. One-sided answers, indifferent nods, are not a sign of indifference. Just your partner is tired, he does not have the strength to debate. Postpone the conversation for later.
Relationships suggest that you not only take, but give. However, it should not be petty at the same time, especially in financial matters. Agree on the main thing: how to manage the economy, pay bills, allocate the budget. But do not allow phrases like: “At the weekend we go to the cinema, but you pay, since I paid (a) last time.”
10. Turning a fly into an elephant
Nobody’s perfect. Did he forget to throw out the trash? Did she burn your shirt? He bought the wrong yogurt? She did not pay for the Internet? Believe me, all this is so stupid that it is not worth even your attention, not to mention emotions. Do not make an elephant out of a fly. Instead, take a walk – at the same time and throw out the garbage. Laugh over the hole on your shirt, because it’s time to buy a new one. Try the “wrong” yogurt, maybe this taste is even better? Light the candles and spend a romantic evening without the Internet.
Love is built on trust. Trust your second half. Your loved one can (and should) have a personal space. Respect it. Do not read the SMS, do not look in the e-mail, do not poke your pockets. All this hurts love and destroys relationships.
Someone thinks that jealousy is a sign of love, someone – that it is selfishness and disrespect. Shakespeare generally called jealousy a monster, self-conceiving and giving birth. In any case, both suffer from it: one is tormented by suspicions, the other is offended by mistrust. How to deal with this? Just be honest: do not give and do not look for reasons for jealousy.
13. Excessive calm
Did you notice that when people find themselves a pair and they all turn out well, they start gaining weight? Harmony and tranquility in relationships – it’s wonderful. But this is not a reason to stop watching yourself. Do you want your partner to lose interest in you? Is not a loved one worthy to be proud of your beauty?
If you see that the problem has ripened (you can even say, grown), buy a subscription to the gym … for two.
Forget about your ex. They are in the past. In the present there is a new love. And it is easy to destroy it if you compare a partner with ex-passions.
15. Together 24 hours a day
“They are the perfect couple – they all do it together!” – whenever you hear such cries, you involuntarily sarcastically smile. How long will they be together? A person psycho-physiologically needs to be alone. Do not seek to spend every minute with your loved one. On the contrary, the less time to communicate, the more valuable it is.
Lying, like water, can erode the foundation of any, even the strongest union. Follow the principle of Dr. House – “everyone is lying” – you can, but not in communicating with your loved one. Speak honestly, if the soup is slightly under-salted or the dress you donated did not like, and learn to adequately perceive such truth in your address.
17. Lie to yourself
Sometimes the relationship collapses not because we are a partner, but because we are not honest enough. Is that the person with whom I want to meet old age? Do I want to give myself to this relationship? While you sincerely do not answer these questions yourself, you will not achieve harmony in the relationship.
The lower your self-esteem, the unprotected your partner feels. Do not let complexes generate questions: “Did I choose the right person (s)?” What can he give me, if he does not believe in his own strength? “It is also true that the opposite is true: run away from someone who self-affirms at your expense and makes you feel insignificant.
What will happen next? What will your relationship lead to? You need to know exactly whether your goals match your partner’s plans. Perhaps, he (a) is not at all tuned to a marriage in the near future, while you already dream of a family. Do not hesitate to ask these questions and do not be afraid to break off a hopeless relationship.
20. Love as a reality
It is believed that they love not for something, they just love it. All right. But even this “medal” has a downside: love can not be taken for granted. Love is a gift of fate. Be grateful to the person who is next to you, for his feelings.
Have you encountered any of this list? How did this affect your relationship?
- 1 1. Attempts to change each other
- 2 2. Getting to know your parents
- 3 3. Mobile phone
- 4 4. Public reproaches
- 5 5. Quarrels
- 6 6. Silence
- 7 7. Forgiveness
- 8 8. Not the time, the wrong place
- 9 9. Finance
- 10 10. Turning a fly into an elephant
- 11 11. Espionage
- 12 12. Jealousy
- 13 13. Excessive calm
- 14 14. Comparisons
- 15 15. Together 24 hours a day
- 16 16. Lies
- 17 17. Lie to yourself
- 18 18. Self-doubt
- 19 19. Objectives
- 20 20. Love as a reality