18 reasons why you do not need to travel on Russian trains and it’s time to change planes

Do not get me wrong – I love trains! I like to cut across Europe on ICE Deutsche Bahn high-speed trains. I was shocked by the beauty of the views from the train window in Italy: fields, tall bridges and many tunnels. Only two-story Caltrain train from San Francisco will take you in a matter of hours and for little money to any place in Silicon Valley – Stanford, Palo Alto or Santa …. I dream to go on trains in Japan and South Korea.

Nickolay Vinokurov / Shutterstock.com
Nickolay Vinokurov / Shutterstock.com

1. Trains are not cheap. Ticket RZD from Moscow to our office in Ulyanovsk in the car CB costs 5 500 rubles. For comparison: one of the air carriers will take you for an hour and a half for only 5,490 rubles. So why torture yourself for many hours for this money?

The cost of flight Moscow - Ulyanovsk UT Air
The cost of flight Moscow – Ulyanovsk UT Air

2. The stations will remind you, in what country we live in reality. You can have an apartment in a fashionable neighborhood, in your own house or on a tree. You can live even in the forest. But nothing will help you avoid the stench of unwashed bodies, chebureks, pies in oil, if you buy a train ticket. The stations we have today are the portals of hell, and nothing has changed, and no one is able to change anything there.

3. Siloviki at the stations and at airports – it’s completely different people. Vokzalnye configured to humiliate the dignity of the person, and at the airport you often just smile and wish a happy journey.

4. The view from the train window is almost never impressive. I do not know how it goes, but it’s very rare to see something interesting on the window of a Russian train. This or some ditch, in which the train rides, or the outskirts of some forest belt.

5. The architecture of the stations is dull, this is not Kaiser’s masterpieces of Germany. There is absolutely nothing to watch.

SergiyN / Shutterstock
SergiyN / Shutterstock

6. In your compartment there is always some kind of figovina, which creaks. You take a car of SV, a compartment or a reserved car – it does not matter. That hangers on hooks, dolbayuschiesya about the wall, a creaky lamp, the seams in the walls will screech all night without an understandable reason. Only the strongest guys can sleep in trains.

7. In modern trains there is air conditioners. But they always work so that you either freeze or sweat. And most often you first sweat later, and then you catch a cold. Nothing can be done here often. And if you are traveling in the car a child with some wild milf, then the air conditioner can be chopped off altogether. And let all the passengers suffer.

8. In trains you can observe space-time anomaly. It consists in the fact that the operating personnel in them work the same one that worked in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s. There is a time, but the approaches to communicating with passengers, the methods of service and the general appearance there are the same as in the years mentioned.

9. Is the same The temporary anomaly concerns the wagons themselves. Curtains, tablecloths, artificial flowers on the tables, radio above the window of your compartment … All this automatically teleports you to the past. Maybe for this we are paying our money? Do not remember what a waffle towel is? Buy an immediate train ticket!

10. Only in the train you will find out how stinky are the chicken, the boiled egg and the “Moscow” sausage! I do not know how this explains science, but for some reason the passengers, when they get on the train, start to get the wrapped paper into the newspapers and absorb it before the train starts moving. You can hear these smells everywhere, but you can not hide from them.

11. Every passenger considers it his duty to talk with you about something. In an airplane, for example, there is a completely stable rule: put on headphones – no one is bothering you. In the train it does not work. There are a lot of questions for you: “Will you eat?”, “Why are not you drinking with us?”, “Are you going to the end?” and many, many others.

12. The guide will wake you up in a second-class car for a couple of hours at least, so you can get your bed. I can do it in two or three minutes, why should I wake up in two hours ?!

13. Tea in glasses with cup holders. I know that many consider it a luster – to order this tea. I’m not talking about the tea itself, which will be the worst available in your store. I’m talking about the gloss that RZD is putting into these terribly uncomfortable coasters, which will then roar all night. It’s just as beautiful as the Vorobyaninova’s stools look in the student hostel of poor students, friends of Ostap Bender.

Glasses with cup holders
Glasses with cup holders

14. The level of intimacy in trains is off scale. No, I’m not about what you get in the compartment SW beautiful and sexually liberated beauty. I mean that only on the train you can see the panties of a person you do not know, taste the stench of socks, learn a lot of the fragrance of decay, allocated by the human body.

15. Crossing borders of countries on the train, you actually overcome them. Then I understand everyone who ever rode the route Kiev-Moscow. There you are woken by the border guards at one station, then at the other, just to check your documents. What prevents you from making closed wagons on such routes and servicing them, both on an airplane, at landing and at the exit?

16. In airplanes, if said not to smoke, then nobody smokes. Once on Russian airlines I saw an asshole who ventured to smoke in the toilet. He was dragged out in a gross form after landing, and he disappeared in the bowels of the punitive system of the airport. What is a smoke stove in trains is not known only to those who have never traveled in them. This is another phenomenon, reinforcing the feeling that you are in hell.

17. The train is a long time. Our trains do not go, but creep. I do not know what their speed is, but the route that is overcome by the car in six hours, we drove the last time on the Forth train for 11 hours. A terrible and ridiculous waste of time. If you take what is lost in an airplane two hours before takeoff and an hour after, then the same route will take you from the force for four hours!

18. Highly rarely on the way of the train you have there will be normal telephone communication, Internet and access to electricity. Sockets in the corridor or just near the toilet. Yes, the plane also has only USB, and it’s not everywhere, but on an airplane you do not spend that much time. What do the passengers of the route Vladivostok – Moscow, I do not understand. Stone Age or digital detox – call it whatever you like, depending on your attitude to technology.

And yes, I’m writing this text on the train. The time is 02:02. And some kind of iron figurine is tearing at my left. And I have no idea why she is there and why you can not make it stop carousing and let me finally get some sleep. After all, this is exactly what I was hoping for, buying a very cheap ticket to the CB.

Next time I will not listen to anyone and fly on an airplane. Rail is suitable only for the transport of goods and livestock.