1. Make a list of problem situations
Begin to solve the problem better with analysis. Therefore, do not be too lazy to remember and write down all the situations in which you feel constrained. Be extremely specific. Instead of “talking to people”, indicate which people are talking about: strangers, representatives of the opposite sex, or those who have power.
When you decompose the problem into parts, it already seems more solvable.
Then try to arrange the recorded situations in order of increasing your anxiety (most likely, the call to a stranger causes less anxiety than a speech in front of an audience).
In the future, this list can be used as a plan to combat shyness. Starting small, you will overcome more difficult situations for you. And with each new victory the feeling of confidence will grow, and shyness, respectively, will decrease.
2. Fix your strengths
Another list that will help you in the battle with constraint, should touch on your positive qualities. As a rule, the cause of shyness is in low self-esteem. Merciless fight with it, reminding yourself of your own splendor (this is not a joke).
Try to find the reverse side, even in the shortcomings. It may be hard for you to lead a long monologue, but you are an excellent listener. This communicative skill can also be used.
3. Decide on the purpose
Any action becomes much more effective when it is purposeful. It is clear that the constant embarrassment prevents living, but you need to explain to yourself what exactly it hinders you. It is possible that the formulated goal will be the impetus for overcoming the old problem.
Despite the fact that I speak, write and conduct a radio show, in my heart I’m an introvert. But as the head of the company I had to talk about our products and services. It required that I get out of my shell and deliver a message to the world. I overcame shyness, realizing that only I can ensure the correct delivery of my message. After realizing this fact, I took steps to facilitate for myself public speaking and meeting new people.
Skills need to be honed, and habits that prevent living should be systematically eradicated. All this applies to sociability and shyness. Here are a few ideas that you can use as a kind of training.
- Reprogram yourself. Imagine that your shyness is a program in the brain that is triggered in response to certain situations, and you, as a computer user, are able to influence this process. Try to go from the opposite and perform actions that are opposite to those to which you are accustomed. Want to huddle in a corner at a party? Go to the very thick of events. Caught yourself thinking that in a conversation you occupy the position of a deaf defense? Try to ask the interlocutor some questions.
- Talk to strangers. Try at least once a day to talk with one stranger (preferably with a random passer-by). Most likely, you will never see him again, so bravely sharpen his communication skills.
- In general, talk more. Try to use every opportunity to get in touch with people. Tell jokes, accept speeches, say hello to those you often meet, but never greet.
- Preheat before an important conversation. Want to talk to some particular person at a party, but are afraid to approach him? Practice for those present who cause less embarrassment. If it’s about getting acquainted, try to tell them everything that you plan to say before the right person. After such a rehearsal, speaking will be easier.
- And always prepare for a public speaking. But do not just repeat the speech. Visualize your future success with the audience. This will give confidence.
5. Focus on others
The problem of shy people is that they think too much about themselves and about the impression they will make on others. Try to redirect the flow of thoughts from yourself to others. Be interested, ask, empathize. When you are focused on another person, the anxiety about one’s own behavior goes to the background.
6. Try the new
Leave the comfort zone. First, this step will positively affect your self-esteem, and secondly, it will diversify your life. You can enroll in a sports section or art courses. Another great option is master classes on improvisation. Such activities help liberate oneself.
7. Watch the body language
Eye contact, correct posture, loud and clear speech, as well as a smile and a strong handshake inform others about your confidence and openness. Moreover, by these signals you are a little deceiving your brain and really start to feel more free.
8. Less often say “no”
A lot is said about the importance of the word “no”. But shy people, on the contrary, should avoid it. Their refusal (expressed both in word and in action) is often dictated by fear of uncertainty and unreasonable fear of shame. If you want to stop being shy, learn to say “yes” to the opportunities that life brings.
9. Learn how to manage an alarm
Some physiological reactions associated with shyness, it is very difficult to overcome. Someone starts to stutter, someone – blush to blush or forget the most simple words. It is almost impossible to stop this with one effort of will. To cope with the problem will help the ability to quickly relax, for example, with the help of deep breathing.
Here are a few more articles that will raise your management skills to a new level:
- How to overcome stress and calm down.
- VIDEO: There are 3 ways to calm down when everything infuriates.
- How to overcome anxiety, when you can not “just calm down.”
10. Do not advertise your shyness
Do not concentrate your and other people’s attention on the fact that you have problems with communication. So you yourself hang a label on yourself and unconsciously strengthen the installation, that shyness is your constant trait.
Even if others notice your embarrassment, pretend that this is an accident, talk about it lightly, and not as a serious problem. Do you start blushing? Tell me that this is a feature of your body, not a reaction to stress. And never describe yourself to strangers as a shy person. Let them make up their own opinion and notice other, more interesting your features.
Know other ways to stop being shy? Talk about them in the comments.