One young man, user Quora, asked a question that worried many: what are people’s pity about, looking back at their lives when they are 30, 40, 50 … years old? The question caused a lively discussion, the most interesting answers from which we will share with you today.
Lessons with a particle of “not”
I think it’s interesting to know what people regret before they die.
It is believed that Beethoven on his deathbed said: “Applaud, friends, comedy is over!”.
Lou Costello before death said: “This was the best ice cream I had to try.”
I want to share with you the lessons I learned from my youthful mistakes. All of them can be designated only one particle “not.”
1. Do not buy things
Instead, invest in your life experience. Travel. Go to the girl who told you “maybe”, even if she lives on the other side of the globe.
Remember: life experience and impressions, not things – this is real life.
2. Do not do what you do not want to do
You think that you have time to do everything. But this is not so. And at one point, not at all, you will understand that your time has come. It was just too late. You lived your life, but not at all as you wanted. You ran after something alienated.
Do you have a purpose? Excellent. Do not miss it.
3. Do not try to please everyone.
No one is more worthy of love than you. It’s a pity that I remembered it too late. I wasted my time trying to get people completely outside of me.
The money that you lost, you can earn. But even 5 minutes of wasted time is what you lost forever.
4. Do not seek to have a relationship with someone who loves another person
Relations with a man who loves another, and this other are not you, are doomed in advance. This is a kind of black hole in which all your bright emotions and feelings will be lost, and you will only have emptiness. You are lost in this and will not know how to get out.
When I fell in love with a man who did not love me, I felt like a soulless robot. And it took me too long to get back to normal life.
5. Do not make promises you can not hold back
… if you do not want to feel like the last scum and constantly apologize to another person for not fulfilling the promised.
6. Do not wait for others to say “yes” to you.
First of all, say to yourself “yes” yourself, and the rest will answer in the affirmative a little later.
7. Do not staple paper clips from the office
It seems a trifle. But this undermines the credibility of you. Be honest. Your word must become truly the Word.
8. Do not leave room in your life for what pulls you down
Do not eat any harmful food. Do not read third-rate news. Try to stay away from colleagues who just do that gossip in the corridor, trying to pour dirt on everyone and everything. Do not spend time with people who are not going to go through life.
9. Do not be sorry
It may seem that all of the above is my regrets. But this is not so. These are original tattoos for memory, which are with me to this day.
You can not go back in time, you can not fix it, and remembering your failures and mistakes is useless and foolish.
Do not make bookmarks on pages that you have already read.
Today everything will start again. But remember that your tomorrow will largely depend on yours today.
List of lessons
- Invest money in a good deal while you are young.
- Be generous, but do not let people sit on your neck.
- Travel every time there is a chance. Do not miss a chance.
- Live at least a year abroad. So you will understand that the world is not limited to just your small corner.
- Love, friendship and health care is something that can not be postponed until later.
I think the most important thing is just to live and not give up. Always and under all circumstances.
Leave regret for later
You ask what the thirty-year-olds and 40-year-olds regret, looking back on their lives. It is commendable that you are thinking about this in your youth. My advice to you: find your way, do the work to which you have a soul, and be happy. And leave regrets for later, at 50 and 60 years you will have enough time to think about them.
It may sound melodramatic, but no matter how happy you are, you will still regret something in old age.
Let’s divide the most common regrets into three groups.
1. Mistakes you would like to avoid
In youth we tend to overestimate the significance of our mistakes. We think that we have done something irreparable, but we forget that we have a whole life to fix everything.
When you are 50, you will laugh at the many mistakes that you made in your youth. You will even notice young people who make the same mistakes you made in the past. In the end, you will come to the realization that all the mistakes and omissions, even if they left behind scars, is part of the story from which your life develops. Believe me, in 20-30 years in the company of friends you will let go of jokes about your mistakes of youth. Your mistakes were necessary. Forgive yourself.
2. What you could do, but did not do
At the age of 20, you regret that you were not invited to a date with the girl you liked, but you are full of optimism, because you know that you still have the right moment.
When you are older, you will have regrets of a different kind: you will regret the risks that you did not dare to take on yourself, and about the opportunities that you missed. You may be overwhelmed by doubts from the category “what if I did it differently?”. It seems to you that your life could have developed quite differently: you could have a big house, a cool car and a beautiful wife.
It’s good or bad, but no one will ever know how it would be. You, of course, can harass yourself with constant doubts and build in your head a parallel universe in which your life is ideal. But you must learn to let go of the unfulfilled.
3. The heavy burden of time you spent in vain
Most of all, I regret the time I spent ineptly. It seems to me that I will die without seeing Machu Picchu, and without learning to speak French fluently, without having built my own house. The older I get, the more pointless hours spent add to my life. Time passes very quickly, remember this.
If you want to do something – do it now
I’m sorry that I did not quit my job many years ago and did not go to Austria to snowboard all winter. But I’m doing it now. And now I regret that I spent time writing this answer, while outside the window I am attracted by wonderful weather.
If you want to do something – do it now. Tomorrow may not come.
What people regret in 70 years
I read and wonder that many people have so few regrets. I am almost 70 years old, and although I am quite happy with my life, if I had decided to write down all my regrets, I would have had the material for the whole book. I regret every silly decision and thoughtless act. I regret every opportunity that I have missed. The list can be continued for a long time. I try not to regret, but I am sure that there is something to regret.
I have always been fairly secure, I have a wonderful big family, and I love my wife. But I still regret that 50 years ago I did not have the courage to meet a charming girl who was sitting at a nearby table in the university cafeteria and smiling at me.
Life is a game
Life is a game in which there are rules and players. You know, you lose or you win. But in the game there is luck, cheating and wrong moves of rivals. The game is unpredictable, and what is regrettable now, can play into your hands in the future. This is what makes life interesting.
Follow your dream
I regret that I did not follow my dreams in my youth. I decided that I definitely need to go to university. If I could believe in myself, fulfill my dreams and desires, and not only worry about how to find a good job in the future, today my life would be completely different.
I would like to go back and talk to myself twenty years old. I would advise myself to think twice, consider alternative options before taking an expensive loan for education, to which the soul does not at all. I would decide to invest the money that I spent to study in a small business, and this would be a real school of life. Or, as an option, I would advise myself to get another profession, which I always dreamed about, and would become a screenwriter. Who knows, maybe I would give this world some masterpiece if at the age of 20 I listened to my heart, and not to other people.
Spend time with children
My main regret is that I did not spend time with my children (from the moment they were born and until they reached adolescence). I was obsessed with work and believed that it was my only important duty and responsibility to provide for my family. I was wrong.
This time you will not return, so now I often repeat to my grown-up children that I regret that I lived only with work, and I urge them not to repeat my mistake.
I was very lucky, because I have a kind and loving wife who forgave me for my eternal employment and took good care of our children. But when we look at the family photos of the time, they obviously are missing someone … Me.
If you have children, they should be your top priority. Be present at school events, sports competitions, family excursions and simply on all events that are relevant to your children.
And what do you think about this?
