Nobody promised that it would be easy. Relationships are a partial abandonment of one’s selfishness for the sake of another person. But this does not mean that a meeting or a life with another person should resemble an endless hell. Here are a few signs that less and less from your relationship. At least pleasant.
Know when it’s time to throw, and when to move on, is the key to emotional survival.
While we are not sure about 200% that the relationship is over, we continue to believe in them. This is understandable, because for several years (or months) we are so attached to a person, we can say “grow into” it, that it is very painful to part. It is clear that you are trying to maintain a relationship: there is always a hope that they will change for the better.
Not everyone has the courage to destroy the relationship at the moment when they really ended. Here are 21 signs that “finita la comedy” if it has not yet come, it is quite, very close. If at least four points out of all you say: “This is about us,” – think about parting more seriously than usual.
1. Resentment
You are constantly offended by your partner, but do not say anything. You think that this is how you keep your relationship, but in reality you just delay that unpleasant moment when all the accumulated negative will break out and your connection will end with a painful break.
Resentment does not go anywhere, especially if the factors that cause it do not disappear. If it does not spill out, it means it accumulates inside, and this causes stress and illness. Well, of course, ruining the relationship – slowly, but surely.
2. Disrespect
If you and your partner have reached the point where you show mutual disrespect, it’s time to destroy your illusions. There is nothing easier than to stop feeling affection for someone who shows disrespect to you.
People can continue to live together without respect and awareness of each other’s values, which leads to absolute nonsense about the needs and desires of the partner. Well, what kind of continuation can we talk about?
3. Disdain
It does not matter what motives caused contempt, whether it was a failed career, a change in appearance or something else. Partners should support each other in any situation, because it is not so warm for us in any circumstances, and especially during some personal problems.
If you began to treat each other with contempt, you no longer receive from the relationship of heat and live not with a friend who understands, but with a cold being that condemns you, why continue?
4. The lies
I’m talking about lying when you say to a person: “I love you”, without feeling any feelings. You are afraid of hurting him, but in fact you do not protect him, but only make things worse. The truth will come out: you can not lie all your life and do not spoil it to yourself and your partner.
Well, if you say to yourself: “We are happy, I’m happy, we are doing well,” when you feel that everything is already over for you, it is also a flight from reality.
5. Distrust
If you do not trust your partner, then there are reasons for this. If they are so serious that trust can not be restored, why stay with this person? All my life to check, worry and waste my nerves?
6. Cursing in public
All the good things you can say about your partner can be said in public. And it’s better to leave everything bad for private conversations. To scold a person in public means to achieve only a negative reaction or a hidden resentment.
In addition, if you criticize a partner in public or even just allow yourself unpleasant jokes in his address, it means that dissatisfaction grows inside, which has already begun to spill out.
7. Removal
If you often look for a way to stay away from your partner and consciously try to avoid contact and intimacy, it’s time to get rid of it.
You have already severed the emotional connection with the partner and thus “gently” let him know that it’s over. Maybe it’s better to do it right away, instead of producing suffering and doubt?
8. Requirement of proof of love
“If you love me, you …” It’s very tempting to manage a person’s life in this way, and if you occasionally hear this phrase, then something went wrong.
The only person who can change his feelings is himself, and some of your actions have nothing to do with it.
Well, if you yourself say so, think, do you really need this person, will he be loved if he does something? And can you manipulate those you really love?
9. Public humiliation
If your partner has humiliated you in society once, with a high probability he will do it again and again. And it does not matter that he drank a lot that evening or he was in a bad mood.
Public humiliation of the partner speaks only of deep hatred towards himself, and no matter how much love you give to this person, it will not fix the situation without his firm desire to change and work with his self-esteem. And it’s hard not only to fix it, but even to admit it.
10. Obsession with another person
If your partner is obsessed with another person – no matter whether he is friends with him or hoping for a closer relationship – sooner or later it will lead to a rupture.
Of course, this does not mean that partners must completely immerse themselves in one another and give all their energy to only one person, but obsession with someone else is fraught with suspicion, jealousy and resentment.
Yes, a partner is clearly missing something in your relationship, if he is so drawn to another person, but you can hardly give it to him. And certainly you should not change yourself for the sake of another person.
11. Possession of pornography
There is nothing strange or bad about the fact that partners watch porn together. A kind of voyeurism helps to get excited and find something new that you can later try in bed with a partner.
But if one of the partners is obsessed with pornography, complete satisfaction will always elude him: in pursuit of the Grail of multiple orgasms, he can end up on the path of sexual perversions.
So, if you are not satisfied with such layouts, think about the root cause of this obsession, and the possible consequences.
12. Emotional infidelity
Some people believe that monogamy is the only possible version of the relationship, for others it is difficult and almost impossible.
If you have changed for the sake of a variety of sexual experience, the relationship can still be maintained, but if there is an emotional attachment to the person with whom you had an intimate relationship, it’s time to finish the relationship.
The first question that people ask when they learn about the partner’s unfaithfulness: “Do you love him / her?”. Because it is the emotional, not the physical, connection that is the core of the relationship, and if it is gone, then there is nothing more to do here.
13. Impossibility to end the conflict
It begins as an endless struggle without reaching a consensus, which gradually grows into “whatever you want”, when partners no longer care about the results of their struggle.
There is a rule: never go to bed offended by each other. And there definitely is something in it.
If none of the partners can restrain their pride and the desire to always be the winner in a dispute, can not go to a truce without having achieved their own, this relationship has no continuation.
14. The Subconscious
If you unconsciously do things that harm your relationship, it’s your psyche that tells you what you really need.
You can think of anything, but your actions speak of real desires better than all of your assurances and hopes.
15. Possession
If your partner has an obsession, for example, with alcohol or substances, he / she is a shopaholic, a player, a workaholic or obsessed with sex, you will always be on the second or even the fifth place and do not get the emotional connection that you would like.
If you do not have an obsession with something, the dependence of your partner can destroy not only his life, but yours. Not a very pleasant prospect.
16. Painful attachment to the former
If your partner still maintains more than a close relationship with a former passion or husband / wife, this destroys the relationship.
Former partners need to be respected, especially if you have common children, but the first role is still assigned to the current partner. If this does not happen, it’s easy to feel secondary and unnecessary, and this is the straight path to the rupture.
17. Threats and emotional blackmail
This is a clear sign of unhealthy relationships. Emotional blackmail is often presented as a strong love, but in fact it is control. And control, in turn, is an abuse of feelings. From this you have to run as far as you can see.
18. Constant comparison and ratings
Your partner compares you to those who look more attractive, earns more, is smarter and more interesting than you? This is one of the forms of humiliation. If someone thinks that the grass is greener in a foreign yard, let it go there.
People are unique creatures, although in many respects similar. Do not compare yourself, let alone to listen to it from your partner.
19. Indifference
Why stay together if you do not care about each other?
20. Disappearance of affection
There is nothing wrong with wanting a roommate, but if you want more from a relationship, do not stay with a partner who has not become your only one. Do not stay just because it’s convenient for you.
21. Physical abuse
There are no excuses, no explanations, circumstances and promises are not important. Just have to leave.
In general, conflict in a relationship is a way to get rid of pain, but their causes may differ. This may be a way to break the rush of dissatisfaction and resentment that has arisen in a relationship, to clean the wound, to remove what is hindering, and to save the relationship.
But it also happens in another way, when conflicts are a way to break off relations, to inform another person that they are over, that you no longer have to torment each other.
And it is better to learn to distinguish some conflicts from others, otherwise it will be painful and bad for both partners.
And you easily end the relationship?
