Etiquette must be respected even in friendship. Japanese proverb
Japan is a country of high technology, sushi, sakura and Mount Fuji. Its culture is complex and mysterious. Foreigners do not understand why the Japanese allow themselves to loudly smack at the table, do not open the door to women and do not let them go ahead.
From this article you will learn a lot about Japanese etiquette: how to greet an interlocutor, how to handle chopsticks, how to behave in public transport, etc.
Japanese etiquette is a complex “science”.
Its origins lie in Confucianism, Shintoism, as well as a strict hierarchical system of Japanese society.
The Japanese are almost always polite and calm. They understand that it is difficult for a European to adapt to their culture, and they refer to mistakes in the behavior of tourists with good irony. That is why the knowledge of Japanese traditions by a foreigner gives them genuine respect.
Magic Words
Address to the interlocutor
Nihongo but keisyo are nominal suffixes used in communication and added to the name, surname or profession of a person. They indicate the degree of proximity of the interlocutors and the social ties between them. Appeal without a suffix is rude. It is permissible only in communication between schoolchildren, students and close friends, and also when an adult applies to a child.
Basic nihongo but do it:
- -san is used in communicating people of equal social status, younger to older ones, and also unfamiliar people, to show restrained respect (something like our “You”);
- -kun – is used in informal communication between colleagues, friends, and also for the treatment of the elder to the younger (the boss to the subordinate);
- -chan – is used in close communication between people of equal social status and age, and also as an appeal to children (something like diminutive and caressing forms in Russian);
- -itself – is used to express an extreme degree of respect, usually in official letters (something like “lord”);
- -senpai – used when addressing the younger to the elder (teacher – student, less experienced employee – more experienced);
- -kohai – the reverse “senpai”;
- -Sensei – is used when referring to scientists, doctors, writers, politicians and other respected people in society.
Hello!
Greeting is an important part of Japanese culture. Most often it is expressed by a bow (about this a little later), but words are also used:
- Okayo gozaimasu – good morning.
- Conyptiva – good afternoon.
- Kombanna – good evening.
- Hisasiburi desu – long time no see.
Also used are such informal options as “Ossu”, “Yakho!”, “Ooi!” (In the men’s company).
Bye!
To say goodbye, in Japan they say:
- Sayonara – goodbye.
- Matanet – for now, see you.
- Oyasumi nasai or just oyasumi – good night.
Thank you
Thanks in Japan:
- Domo – thanks.
- Domo arigato – thank you very much.
- Domo arigato godazhimas – thank you very much.
You are welcome
And respond to the courtesy like this:
- Doitasimasite is not worthy of gratitude.
- Kotiracoso – thank you.
- Otsukare herself – great work.
Requests
To ask for help, you need to say “onegai” or “kusai”. But in Japan it is not accepted to ask (only in the most extreme cases). Therefore, giving up assistance is not rude, but, on the contrary, a display of respect. To accept someone’s support is possible only when a person expresses a willingness to help several times under a series.
Apologies
The usual words of apology are “Gomen nasai” and “Sumisan”. The last is translated literally as “there is no me a pardon” and is used very often. So the Japanese show how much they respect the interlocutor, who was brought to some inconvenience.
Language of the body
Words are secondary to the Japanese. Very much (if not all) they express in sign language.
The main rule in communicating with the Japanese is not to violate personal space.
When talking with an unfamiliar person, observe the distance. No panibrat slaps on the shoulder and hugs, no intrusion into the zone of personal comfort.
Sight
“The eyes are the mirror of the soul” is considered to be ours. The Japanese are not used to flaunting their souls, they almost never look into the face of the interlocutor.
It has been so since ancient times: you could not look into the eyes of people standing above you on the social ladder. This was considered unheard of rudeness.
Today, a direct open look in Japan is a sign of aggression, a kind of challenge. For example, when parents scold their teenage children, they do not contradict them, but simply look brazenly in the eyes.
If a Japanese in conversation always looks away, do not think that he is cunning or something is hiding. This is normal. You need to get used to this.
Bow
Greeting, gratitude, excuse, respect – all these Japanese express through bows. Bowing (ojigi) is an integral part of Japanese culture. Some bow, even talking on the phone (on the machine, unconsciously). Right bow is a sign of being good.
There are three kinds of obeisances:
- Eshaku is a short barely perceptible bow, a back bend of only 15º. Widely used in everyday life, to greet friends, as well as unfamiliar people higher in status or as a “thank you”.
- Keirei – deeper (30º) and slightly longer bow. So welcome distinguished colleagues, business partners.
- Sai-Keirei – the strongest (45º) and long bow, expresses deep respect for man, he is used to greet very important people.
To properly worship, you need:
- Stay.
- Stand in front of the interlocutor.
- Press your hands to your hips or fold them in front of you (gassho).
- To bow.
Let’s note that the Japanese are very progressive. In dealing with foreigners, they are increasingly using the familiar handshakes for Europeans (especially in business).
Away from home
The Japanese rarely invite visitors to the house (especially foreigners). And it’s not about inhospitality. Just his, and not removable, the house is a rarity, and its area leaves much to be desired.
If you received an invitation to come to visit, you are honored. Refuse is extremely impolite.
Gifts
You can not go on a visit with empty hands.
Gifts are an important part of Japanese culture.
They are given for holidays, on special occasions, as a sign of respect, etc.
At the same time, symbolism and ceremonial are very important. There is even a special term “Dzoto” – the art of presenting gifts.
The basic rules of presenting gifts:
- The gift must be packed.
- A gift (like any other thing, solemnly handed down from person to person) should be transmitted and received with both hands.
- You can not immediately unpack a gift (a sign of curiosity and greed).
- The gift should be practical and correspond to the case (often give money).
- In the gift, figure 4 (homophone of the hieroglyph of death) should not appear.
- For a gift (even if it is very expensive) one should “apologize” (your humble gift can not yet express the respect that you feel for the gifted).
- In response to a gift received by mail, it is customary to write thank you letters.
So, according to the rules of the Japanese guest etiquette, after entering the house, the guest should stop in the hall (“chenkan”), where the hosts will meet him. The guest should present the gift to the hostess of the house and apologize that he disturbed them with his visit. The hosts, in turn, apologize for accepting the guest so modestly.
After such an exchange of courtesies, you can enter the house.
Footwear
Here a foreigner is waiting for a dirty trick. In America and Europe, it is not accepted to take off your shoes when entering the living quarters. In Japan, this is mandatory.
Enter the house shod – a gross violation of Japanese etiquette. The Japanese forgive inexperienced foreigners for many mistakes, but not this one. In the Land of the Rising Sun, in some provincial cities, shoes are removed even when coming to work.
Therefore, before crossing the threshold of the Japanese house, you need to take off your shoes.
Sometimes you will be offered home slippers, sometimes not. Here the guest is waiting for the second trick – always watch for the purity and integrity of your socks.
The third catch was lying near the restroom. Near the entrance to the bathroom or toilet in the Japanese house there are one more, special, slippers (more likely even slates, with special inscriptions). “And let them stand” – the foreigner will think and step over the threshold in house slippers or barefoot, risking, thus, to make himself laugh. To visit the restroom, you must change your shoes.
In transport
In Japan, there are several important rules of conduct in public places, including transport:
- You can not shout (do not shout loudly in a crowd of people, even if it’s your friend).
- You can not be rude and respond to shocks (they push and tread on their feet in transport often (imagine the passenger traffic of the Tokyo subway), but no one breaks down and scandals, everyone suffers).
- You can not talk on a mobile phone at a station, stop, and even more so on the train – this disturbs the rest of other passengers and is considered a top nonculture (all write SMS).
- You can not get into a car for women, if you are a man (in the evenings on some branches, trains run with cars intended only for passengers, in order to protect them from harassment during a crush).
- You can not blow your nose in public.
- Do not give way to grandmothers (for pensioners and invalids there are special places, it’s illegal to take that nobody will come to mind).
At the table
The beginning of the meal
Before the start of lunch (according to the classical canons), a wet hot towel is served to clean hands and face – “osibori”. But if you eat in an ordinary restaurant, the oshibory may not be.
But wherever you eat, before you start eating, you need to say “Itadakimas” (Itadakimasu – “I gratefully accept this food”). This is instead of a “pleasant appetite”.
As for the sequence of dishes (again, in a traditional dinner), you should first try the rice, then the soup and only then try any other dishes.
Sticks
Hasi – traditional chopsticks. Hasyoki – a stand for them. The ability to correctly use chopsticks is an indicator of a person’s culture.
In the case of Hasi, there are a number of strict taboos. More on this in the material “How can I not use chopsticks.”
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Toasts
“Kanpai!” – so the Japanese say, picking up a glass of sake (or other alcohol) and clinking glasses. In translation, this means “Drink to the bottom!”.
But drinking to the bottom is dangerous. As soon as the bottler sees an empty glass, he immediately fills it. By the way, if you spill drinks, then fill your glass should be the last.
End of meal
Silently to leave from behind a table – a bad form. It is necessary to thank the person who fed you (the owners of the house, the chef of the restaurant), even if he does not hear you. To do this, say “Gochisosama” (Gochisosama).
A couple more tips
- Do not be surprised at loud smackings at the table – so the Japanese express the pleasure of eating.
- Do not try to give to tea – it’s not accepted.
Business conversation
The Japanese know a lot about business. To earn the trust and respect of Japanese partners, you need to know several basic rules of national business etiquette.
Delays
The Japanese are never late. To get the Japanese to wait means to show disrespect. It is better to arrive at a meeting earlier than late.
No!
To hear a direct refusal from a Japanese businessman is nonsense.
The Japanese do not say “No”.
Even if the terms of the transaction do not suit them completely. Instead, the Japanese will nod and give abstract evasive answers (“We’ll think about it,” “This is difficult,” etc.). The origins of this behavior in the “thymmok” (Japanese art of silence) is better to remain silent than to offend a person by refusal.
If the deal is completely satisfied with the Japanese, you will hear a clear and unambiguous “Yes.”
Business Cards
The exchange of business cards is an important ceremony of Japanese business communication. Firstly, a business card is a kind of cheat sheet (Japanese are difficult to give European names, just like we Japanese). Secondly, on the business card the post is indicated, which allows choosing the correct line of conduct. Third, it is a sign of respect for a partner.
Visits are exchanged at the first meeting during the greeting. Hand over and take them as a gift, with both hands. The business card should be accurate, printed on good paper, the text is written (minimum) in two languages - Japanese and English.
You go to a foreign country – fulfill its customs. Japanese proverb
Japanese etiquette is a complex and, at times, incomprehensible. Described above – just the tip of the iceberg. If you know the other secrets of Japanese etiquette, share them in the comments.
